Ties that Bind Us
by Snowcleo
Summary: A series of interconnected stories detailing Kakashi and Iruka's relationship. Was originally three stories: Wild Run, Beginning Again, and Ties that Bind Us.
1. Wild Run

Author's note: Originally chapters one and two were separate stories. I decided to combine all my Kakairu stories into one. Please excuse the confusion.

* * *

Iruka really preferred to run in the morning. It allowed him to wake up, stretch before a long day of teaching, and mentally prepare himself for the day ahead. However, once a week the school's teachers had a mandatory staff meeting an hour and a half before the usual start time and even Iruka wasn't enough of a morning person to wake up as early as he'd need to have a run before the meeting. So on meeting days he ran at night, waiting until it was late enough that most people were at home or asleep, when the village was quiet and he could run without having to greet anyone. 

He first noticed the shadow following him midway through his run, on a night when the moon was full and the sky was brilliantly clear. Out of the corner of one eye, a shock of white glinted from the next rooftop over. Ninja training kicked in and he focused all his efforts on sensing—without looking—anything, anyone that might be there. He didn't hear anything except his own quiet breathing, his almost silent footsteps, the beating of his own heart, but he knew there was someone else out there, running a path curiously similar to his own. None of his senses registered the runner as a threat, so he decided it was merely another nin exercising before bed, one whose path had happened to meet with his own.

Iruka forgot about the shadow by the next morning and thought nothing of the runner until the next week's nighttime run. This time the sky was cloudy, hiding the moon. The village was dark and Iruka chose to run a route over the rooftops, practicing his footing, when suddenly he heard another runner's breathing, just a moment behind his, and the memory of the previous week's mysterious glint popped back into his mind. After a long circuit over the sleeping village, the sound faded away just as Iruka was reaching the door to his home.

The next week was the same and the week after that. No matter what path Iruka chose to run, the other runner would be there also. Iruka never saw anything more than a brief glimpse of pale skin, never heard more than a breath or a footfall. Once, running through the forest on a gloriously windy night, he caught a tantalizing whiff of the other runner's scent—a mix of paper, fabric, sweat, and, oddly enough, dog. It was a wild smell and made the other runner seem more real, but less human.

---

Iruka knew that having a companion had been pushing him to run faster and longer than he had previously, but he didn't fully appreciate the extra training until six weeks after they began running together. He was able to transform, outrun, and trick Mizuki after taking a shuriken in the back, something he wasn't sure he would have been able to do before. He offered silent thanks to his unseen training partner.

As he lay drowsing in the hospital bed later that night, he heard a soft footfall and smelled the scent of the other runner. Through bleary eyes, he made out a figure standing by his bed. It occurred to him that this was their usual night to run together. "I'm sorry…I'm going to miss our run tonight," he whispered softly. His eyes closed again and he wondered if he was dreaming the hands that were gently brushing over his hair.

The next week Iruka was more than ready to get back to his daily run. His back had healed, though he wasn't sure he wanted to look too hard at the scab Mizuki's betrayal had left on his soul. He started out slow, staying on the streets of the village, not wanting to push himself, but he couldn't seem to get into the rhythm of the run. Something was missing.

As he strained to figure out what was wrong, he realized that he couldn't sense his mysterious companion. Iruka told himself that it wasn't surprising. The other nin was healthy and strong and wouldn't want to stick to an invalid's pace, but his heart ached with loneliness. He ran half the distance he usually did, all that the doctor would let him attempt on his first run back, but when he returned to his house, he wasn't satisfied. It couldn't hurt to do just another mile, could it? Then he would sleep soundly, without another night of Mizuki cackling in his dreams.

He started jogging again, but only made it halfway down his block before realizing that there was a dog standing in the middle of the road, blocking his way. It just stood there watching him and he found that he was reluctant to try to push past it. He turned and headed back the other way, but as soon as he'd gone a half a block past his door, there was another dog, this one also blocking his path. It was obvious that neither dog was going to let him continue running that evening, but why?

Iruka closed his eyes, pushed out slightly with his chakra, and was surprised to sense his mysterious running companion. The man's chakra was one of the most powerful he'd ever sensed outside of the Hokage's and suddenly Iruka felt silly that he hadn't realized before who the shadow runner was.

He turned to the dog on his right, the first one he'd seen, and said, "Okay, I understand. I won't push myself any more tonight. Thank you for watching out for me…Kakashi-sensei." He smiled at the dog.

It vanished in a puff of air and in its place stood a lean man with a shock of white hair. Like Iruka, he wore only basic blacks, not even a hitai-ate, but a mask and a simple eye patch obscured his face. His one visible eye looked at Iruka lazily.

Iruka stared back, remembering a wild scent filling his hospital room and soft fingers soothing him to sleep. He felt heat flush through his cheeks as he came to a decision.

"I've noticed that since my…injury, it's harder to wake up early for my usual run. I believe I'll switch to running in the evenings."

He turned and opened the door to his house without looking back. As he stepped over the doorsill, he heard a soft voice say, "Until tomorrow then, Iruka-sensei. Sleep well."


	2. Beginning Again

It was the hardest thing Kakashi had ever done. Nothing in his training had prepared him for looking into the eyes of a good, decent man who had done no wrong and stabbing him through the heart. The fact that Kakashi's weapon was words instead of a kunai did not make the blow any easier.

"They're not your students any more…"

He said the necessary words, backed by a firm belief in what his team could do, and watched as betrayal washed over the face of a man he had only recently begun to think of as a friend.

Kakashi had spent a lot of his life asking for forgiveness, but it was always from the dead. He had no idea how to beg it from the living.

---

He remembered when he had first noticed a graceful streak racing through the slumbering village. Intrigued by the ninja's movement, economical, yet beautiful, he'd silently moved in closer to see who the runner was. He didn't know anyone else who liked to run at night.

To his surprise, Kakashi discovered that the mysterious runner was Umino Iruka, a quiet academy teacher who often manned the mission desk in the afternoons. He found himself pacing Iruka as he ran, admiring the man's stride and agility. For fun, to see if Iruka would notice, he allowed his hair to glint once in the moonlight, but only for a second. The chuunin did notice, though he of course betrayed no outward sign, and the run soon became a race, a game, unspoken, but enjoyed by both. Before he knew it, Kakashi was spending every week looking forward to the one night when he could race alongside Iruka.

He always meant to speak to Iruka, to talk to him after their weekly run, but the right moment never seemed to present itself. He might have drug things out even longer had Mizuki not decided to betray the village, almost killing Iruka in the process.

After the clean up was over, Kakashi sat for a long time on top of the hospital roof, waiting for night to finish falling. He was out of sorts. He wanted something, but wasn't sure what it was. _To see Iruka_, a small part of his mind whispered, but he refused to think of a reason why that might be.

However, there was nothing wrong with checking on an injured comrade, just to make sure he was all right, nothing more. Kakashi slipped silently through the window of Iruka's hospital room. The younger man lay on his stomach, blankets crumpled at his waist. His torso and right arm were wrapped in bandages, leaving one muscular shoulder bare.

Kakashi knew what Mizuki had done, but seeing the marks left by kunai and shuriken angered him more than merely hearing about it had. He stepped closer to the bed and the sleeping man stirred.

He froze as Iruka blinked up at him through eyes hazed with sleeping pills and painkillers. "I'm sorry…I'm going to miss our run tonight," he whispered and his eyes drifted closed again. Kakashi felt one corner of his mouth quirk up in a reluctant smile. His fingers moved of their own accord to stroke lightly against Iruka's hair, loose from its usual ponytail. He stayed until the injured man's breathing deepened into sleep once more and then slipped out of the window to race through the night alone.

---

_That fool!_ Kakashi couldn't believe Iruka wasn't heading straight to bed after his run. He'd only been out of the hospital for a few days. The doctor had told him that a run was fine, but only for half his usual distance. Kakashi had overheard the conversation from his perch on the roof above Iruka's hospital window.

Not that Kakashi himself would have listened to the doctor's advice, but Iruka was supposed to be sensible, level headed. So why did it look like he was going to begin running again after completing his allotted exercise?

Kakashi had been careful not to let himself be seen or sensed by Iruka as they ran that night. He knew that when they ran together they competed; they pushed each other to run harder, longer, faster. That wasn't what Iruka needed right now, so Kakashi figured he would remove the temptation.

Now, however, as he looked at Iruka's frustrated face, he began to wonder if the competition was the only reason why Iruka ran with him. For that matter, was it the only reason why he ran with Iruka? It couldn't be that Iruka missed his company, could it?

As Iruka began to jog once more, Kakashi quickly took the form of one of his dogs and blocked the path. He watched Iruka's confusion as the younger man stopped, turned to run the other way, and found a second dog blocking him. Instead of pushing past them, the teacher paused, closed his eyes, and pushed outward with a small amount of chakra, searching for the person who had to be behind his two canine obstacles.

It took more of his control than Kakashi had expected when Iruka's push reached him. The man's chakra was strong and well ordered. Kakashi got a whiff of sunshine, eraser dust, and green tea and had a sudden, strange urge to wrap his chakra around and through Iruka's, to draw the two of them closer together.

Before he could act on that urge, Iruka turned toward Kakashi's dog-form and said, "Okay, I understand. I won't push myself any more tonight. Thank you for watching out for me…Kakashi-sensei." Then he smiled and Kakashi began to understand why Naruto went out of his way to do things for his former teacher.

Dispelling his dog-form, Kakashi listened as Iruka told him that he was going to be running at night from now on. For a moment he didn't understand why Iruka had mentioned it, but then the realization struck him. The chuunin was choosing to run with him because he enjoyed the company, Kakashi's company. A warm feeling surged through Kakashi's body and he fought down a wild laugh as he wished Iruka a good night.

When the door shut behind the other man, Kakashi leapt up and sprinted off over the top of the village, hopping from light pole to light pole, faster and faster, buoyed by an emotion he was unable to name and unwilling to contain.

---

So they began to run together every night of the week. Even when Kakashi took Team 7 to the Land of the Waves, he tried to run at the same time each night, knowing somehow that Iruka was doing the same.

When the team returned from that disastrous mission, Kakashi was at Iruka's house the very first night back. Iruka had looked up into the darkness, sensing Kakashi standing on the roof of the house across the street. "I read the report, Kakashi-sensei," he'd said compassionately. "Do you still want to run tonight?"

Kakashi had stepped forward out of the darkness and nodded once, unable to speak. "Very well. Let's run over the rooftops tonight. That will keep your mind occupied." And the teacher had been right. Running over the rooftops was challenging enough to keep Haku's face out of his mind for a time and the wind blew heavily enough over the top of the village to dry any tears he might have shed.

That night Kakashi had stood on the roof for a long time, watching Iruka's closed door and thinking about compassion and friendship and whether he was deserving of either.

---

Now it seemed all his thinking had been for nothing. There was no way that Iruka would forgive him for embarrassing the man in front of the other nins and the Hokage. But Kakashi knew that he was right. His team was ready for the chuunin trials. Why couldn't Iruka see that?

He arrived at his rooftop perch earlier than usual. He'd briefly considered being late, so that when he discovered that Iruka had already left to run without him, he would have a better excuse than "he hates me now." However, a part of him felt he needed tormenting as some small payment for the damage he'd done to Iruka's ego. So there he was sitting in his usual place when Iruka's door opened and the teacher stepped out, dressed for a run.

Iruka didn't glance his way, just started running, but slowly enough that Kakashi knew he was expected to follow. Iruka headed toward the forest, obviously planning to run through the trees. Kakashi trailed a little ways behind.

As they ran, Kakashi could sense no anger or hurt leaking from Iruka. Maybe he wasn't really mad? But he'd looked mad earlier in the meeting. Kakashi didn't understand what was going on, but followed Iruka anyway, hoping that maybe a clue would present itself.

The moon was new, so the forest was swathed in darkness. Kakashi allowed his body to focus on running and let his mind wander over the day's events, trying to figure out how to mend the rift he'd created. He could see Iruka ahead of him, leaping from branch to branch as if he hadn't a care in the world, so when the attack came, he was caught off guard. Out of nowhere, 146 pounds of angry chuunin lunged toward him, fists swinging toward his face.

Kakashi automatically grabbed Iruka's wrists to keep himself from getting decked and stared into deep brown eyes blazing with fury. "Iruka-sensei, I'm sorry. I only did what I felt was right. They're ready for the exam. I promise you." Kakashi frantically said more words than he'd spoken in several months of running together. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"Embarrass me? I don't care about that." Iruka spit the words out. "If you truly think your students are ready, that's fine."

Kakashi was confused. "Then why are you mad?"

"Swear to me you're not doing this as some twisted game, something to amuse yourself as you watch them fail!" Iruka's voice was taut with rage, his arms trembling with emotion.

"What? No! Of course I don't want to see them fail. Why would you think that?" Kakashi froze as he remembered what else he'd said at that meeting. Suddenly he knew why Iruka was so mad.

Iruka took full advantage of the other man's momentary distraction. He leapt forward with both feet, pulled back on the wrists Kakashi still held, and flipped both of them over and off the tree branch. Kakashi automatically let go of Iruka's wrists and they both twisted to land on their feet at the base of the tree. Without pausing, Iruka took off running toward the village.

As he ran after him, Kakashi cursed himself for being even more of a fool than he already knew he was. Of course, Iruka wasn't mad because Kakashi had embarrassed him. It was that stupid joke. "It would be amusing to break them." Damn it! Why had he tried to joke his way out of that one? _Because you try to joke your way out of everything_, the voice in his head whispered traitorously.

Iruka loved those kids, loved all his students. As a teacher, he would eventually understand why Kakashi wanted enter them in the trials, even if he didn't agree with him now, but he would never understand how Kakashi could joke about them being hurt. Kakashi ran faster, knowing he had to try to explain himself to Iruka, but not knowing what to say or how to say it.

As he sprinted through the night, he reflected that there was obviously more to Iruka than simply being a quiet schoolteacher. Now that he thought of it, Kakashi could remember one of the older nins telling stories. She had said that Iruka had had a fierce temper as a child, but no one listening to her story had believed her. What level of control did Iruka have to master that kind of anger to the point where few remembered it even existed? Was he a chuunin because he couldn't pass the jounin tests or because he didn't choose to take them in the first place? After all, Iruka had used a simple doppelganger technique and gotten the jump, twice, on a special jounin.

Kakashi could see Iruka as he reached the door to his home. "Iruka-sensei! Wait!" he called out, before the man could disappear inside. Iruka froze, back turned and rigid.

"I'm sorry, Iruka-sensei. I swear, I didn't mean it." Kakashi babbled desperately. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." At his words, Iruka sighed deeply and slumped forward to rest his head on the doorframe.

They stood silently for a long moment and then Iruka straightened up and nodded once, without ever turning to look back. "I know you are." As he opened his door, he said, "Good-night, Kakashi." Kakashi flinched at the deliberate omission of the honorific, but knew that today, in Iruka's eyes, he had not earned the right to be called teacher. Iruka sighed again. "I'll see you tomorrow night." The door closed with a quiet click, while Kakashi stood dumbfounded.

Who was Iruka really? What kind of man would forgive an idiot genius who didn't know how to talk to people or how to keep from saying things he didn't mean? Kakashi slouched home, where he lay awake all night, asking questions his ceiling could not answer.


	3. Grief and Kindness

It was the right time, but Iruka was not there. Kakashi stood outside his door, not on the roof across the street or in the shadows created by other houses, but on the doorstep as a real visitor would. They usually ran together at this time each night, but they hadn't been able to meet regularly for some time now. Everyone had been too busy protecting the village, fighting the attackers, and now, burying the dead.

Kakashi sighed and rolled his head around, trying to ease the memory of yet another funeral. Iruka was late and he knew that Iruka was never late. Maybe…maybe he didn't want to run tonight. Not so soon after the Hokage's funeral. However, Iruka would come and tell him if that were the case. He was responsible like that. No, something must be wrong and Kakashi needed to know what so he could fix it. _You can't fix everything_, the voice in his head reminded him with a jab.

He shook that thought off and sighed again. With a great deal more courage than it should have taken, he raised his hand and knocked on the plain wooden door in front of him. There was a pause, as if the house were holding its breath, and then the door opened.

When Iruka looked up and saw who was on his doorstep, he smiled, but it was a weak imitation of its usual brilliance. Kakashi saw that he still wore his funeral blacks. They highlighted the shadows under his eyes.

"Kakashi-sensei, welcome. Please, come in." Kakashi stepped inside the small home and looked around for the first time. It was tidy and homey, just like he expected. Books lined orderly bookcases. A bright pillow shone on the comfortable futon. Pictures of smiling children framed a small desk with an open lesson book on it. In another room a teapot whistled.

"I was just making tea. Would you like some?" Iruka asked, heading in the direction of the whistle. He soon returned with two mugs and set them down on the low table in front of the futon. Sitting down, Iruka smiled up at Kakashi again. "Come, join me. You're probably tired."

As he moved toward the futon, Kakashi noticed that Iruka's skin was pale under its tan coloring and his eyes were slightly glassy. "Thank you for the tea."

"You're welcome." They drank in silence for a moment before Iruka asked, "How is your team doing?"

"They're okay. I left them together. They were going to dinner, I believe."

Iruka nodded thoughtfully. "That's good. They'll take care of each other. You've done a good job with them, Kakashi-sensei."

Another moment of silence passed. Kakashi broke it this time. "How is Konohamaru doing?"

Iruka sighed. "He finally fell asleep. Ebisu is with him now. I'll go check on him later."

"You need to get some sleep. You look exhausted." Kakashi frowned. That was it; that was what was wrong. Iruka was thinking of everyone else again and ignoring himself. Didn't he realize how tired he was?

"No, no, I'm fine." Iruka looked up with another wan smile. "Don't worry about me. How are you do…" His voice trailed off and his eyes widened when he felt Kakashi's fingers rest against his lips.

"Hush. Stop being strong for everyone else," Kakashi commanded. "It's alright for you to mourn now." His voice quieted as he lifted his hand and brushed his thumb across Iruka's scar. "It's okay. I'm here, Iruka-sama."

At the whispered endearment, pain washed over Iruka's face. Kakashi pulled Iruka in and wrapped his arms around him as sobs began to shake the teacher's body. Hot tears soaked Kakashi's shirt. Iruka's hands gripped the fabric tightly. Kakashi lifted Iruka's legs so that the other man sat fully in his lap and gently rocked him. He didn't say anything or try to stop the torrent of grief. Something told him that it had been a long time since Iruka had allowed himself to break down and he thought it was past time for it to happen.

When the sobs gradually began to weaken and the hands began to relax their grip, Iruka stirred as if to get up. Kakashi tightened his grip. "Stay, please." Iruka sighed deeply and settled back into the circle of Kakashi's arms. They sat silent, breathing together.

After a long while, Kakashi shifted Iruka off his lap and stood up. When Iruka tried to follow, Kakashi pushed him back down. "I'll be right back." Iruka paused, then nodded, and eased back into the futon as Kakashi walked to the small bathroom. There he wet a washcloth with warm water and grabbed some tissues and a comb. Going back to the futon, he handed Iruka the tissues. "Blow." Iruka gave a watery grin at the command, but obeyed.

When he finished, Kakashi reached up to remove Iruka's hitai-ate. The younger man blushed at the contact, but, at a look from Kakashi, didn't protest. Dropping the headband onto the table, Kakashi gently ran the warm washcloth over Iruka's tear-stained face. By the time he was done, Iruka's cheeks were flushed brilliant pink and his eyes closed with pleasure.

"Turn around." Iruka turned and Kakashi pulled out the tie holding back his hair. Picking up the comb, the jounin ran it slowly through the thick locks, deftly working out tangles. That task completed and the comb on the table, his hands moved to Iruka's shoulders and neck. The knots in them felt as if they'd been there for a long time. Skilled hands, aided by small amounts of chakra, loosened the tight muscles and Iruka was soon swaying slightly from exhaustion.

Kakashi pulled the sleepy man back against his chest. "Iruka-sama, do you mind if I stay here tonight?" he whispered. "I'm not expecting anything; I just don't want to sleep alone. Not tonight." Iruka nodded and said, "I understand. I would appreciate the company." They sat quietly for another long while until Iruka stood and held out a hand to lead Kakashi back to the bedroom.

Once inside the bedroom, with its twin bed lit by moonlight, Kakashi turned to Iruka and slowly lifted the man's shirt over his head, respectfully placing the funeral attire over a chair. When he turned back around, Iruka was looking at him awkwardly, a faint blush glowing in the pale light.

"Um, pardon my asking, but do you sleep with the eye patch on?" Kakashi had forgotten that he was dressed for running—no hitai-ate, only an eye patch to cover the Sharingan. He slowly shook his head. Iruka's hands carefully moved up and slipped off the black patch, barely ghosting over Kakashi's skin as they did so. Iruka stared into both of his friend's eyes for the first time. Moving forward once more, he then pulled Kakashi's shirt over his head and laid it over his own on the chair. Once more, he stared into mismatched eyes for a long moment.

Iruka swallowed and then said, "What about the mask? Do you sleep in that?" Kakashi shook his head again, staring steadily into Iruka's eyes, afraid to look away for even a moment in case he was dreaming. As Iruka stepped even closer and Kakashi could feel the other man's warmth, it took all his control not to lift his arms and pull the chuunin's body into his own. Iruka's hands worked under the bottom edge of the mask and pulled it up and over his head. The younger man dropped the cloth on the floor and stared into Kakashi's eyes for the third time.

Tentatively Iruka reached out one finger and lightly traced the scar bisecting Kakashi's left eye. His touch was gentle, his fingers warming where they grazed the pale skin. Kakashi's eyes closed with pleasure and he swayed slightly. Iruka's hand moved down the length of Kakashi's neck and he pulled Kakashi's face forward. Their lips brushed gently once, twice, three times, before Iruka wrapped his arms around Kakashi and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you," he whispered. Kakashi nodded, unable to speak.

Iruka moved away slowly and they finished preparations for bed in silence. As they slipped under the futon, Kakashi pulled Iruka toward him, spooning against the younger man.

"Good-night, Iruka-sama."

He knew Iruka's face flushed, even though he couldn't see it. "Don't. You shouldn't call me that. I'm not…"

Kakashi brushed a soft kiss on Iruka's shoulder. "You are to me. You are to me." His arms tightened around the strong body of a man who was suddenly meaning more to him than anyone had in a very long time and he drifted off to sleep wondering why Iruka smelled so much like sunshine.


	4. Memorial Meetings

Kakashi was no longer in the bed when Iruka woke up the next morning, but Iruka wasn't worried. He had a good idea of where to find him. After a quick shower, he grabbed a thermos with tea and some fruit and bread and headed out through the village to the memorial for Konoha's fallen.

Like every morning, the shaggy haired copynin was standing silently in front of the stone, slouching slightly with his hands in his pockets. He was dressed in his full uniform and had his mask and hitai-ate back in place. The air of reserve that usually surrounded him, which hadn't been there the night before, was back, but not as strong as before.

Iruka didn't make an effort to hide his presence as he approached, but stopped a little bit before he reached the other man.

"Ah, I am discovered," Kakashi drawled without turning around. "Good morning, Iruka."

Iruka smiled. "Good morning, Kakashi. How are you?"

"I'm alright. How about you?"

"Ah, well," Iruka replied, frowning, "I'm not doing so well."

Kakashi's back tensed slightly. "You aren't? Why not?" He turned to Iruka, a nervous look on his face.

"Well, when I went to bed last night, there was a handsome man with me, but we both fell asleep before I could fully enjoy the company. Then when I woke up this morning, he had already left, so I couldn't enjoy his company then either." Iruka pouted, trying to hide a grin.

Kakashi stared at the teacher and Iruka could see a grin starting to quirk up the edges of his cheek. "And were you looking forward to…'enjoying his company'?"

Iruka raked his eyes slowly down the length of Kakashi's body and then back up again. He smiled. "Yes, yes I was." He fought a blush that was trying to creep over his cheeks and made himself stare boldly into Kakashi's visible eye.

They grinned at each other for a moment longer. Iruka held up the bag with the food. "I brought breakfast."

"I see, so your plan was to feed me and then have your way with my body." Kakashi leered at Iruka playfully.

The blush won and Iruka turned a bright red. Kakashi laughed and held out his hand for the bag. "I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. You're so cute when you blush." This statement made Iruka's face even redder and Kakashi laughed again. Setting the bag of food down, he turned back to the memorial.

"Obito, I'd like you to meet Iruka. He's the best teacher at the academy," Kakashi turned to look at Iruka for a moment, "and a good friend." Iruka felt tears prick his eyes, touched that the reclusive jounin would want to share something personal with him. He walked to the monument and bowed politely, "Uchiha-san, it is an honor."

His eyes moved to another, more familiar, pair of names and he reached forward to run his fingers over them. "Mom, Dad, I've told you before about Naruto's new teacher, Kakashi. He is a good man. Please watch over him as I know you watch over me." Iruka paused, trying to ignore the urge to cry. He'd cried enough last night for a long time.

As he stood there, he felt Kakashi's strong arms wrap around him from behind. He crossed his arms over Kakashi's and leaned his head back onto the slightly taller man's shoulder. Kakashi rested his cheek on the top of Iruka's head. Iruka sighed, contented.

After a moment, Kakashi pulled away. "Hungry?" Iruka nodded and they sat down to eat. They didn't talk while they ate, but the silence was comfortable and companionable. When they finished, Kakashi looked over at Iruka. "What are you doing today?"

"Well, there's no school today because of the funeral yesterday, so I don't have to teach. I thought I'd go check on Konohamaru, then go to the mission room, and see if they needed any help and then I had some papers to finish grading. I probably ought to check on Naruto and see how he's doing. If you don't watch him, he won't eat any vegetables and then he'll get sick. I also need to clean house and there are some errands I need to run. Oh, and…"

"Okay, okay, I get the picture," Kakashi interrupted, laughing. "In amongst all that, is there time for me to make dinner for you?"

Iruka stared at him a moment, then blushed furiously and nodded. "I'd like that. But don't feel you have to cook for me."

Kakashi smiled, "I can't make anything fancy, but I don't mind cooking. Especially for people I like." He reached a hand out and caressed Iruka's cheek.

"So that means that you like me?" Iruka asked softly. Their faces moved closer and closer together.

Kakashi nodded. "I like you a lot, Iruka-sama," he whispered. The hand that had been caressing Iruka's cheek was now on the back of his neck, tangling itself in his hair. Kakashi's other hand reached up to pull down his mask a second before his lips touched Iruka's.

Iruka had kissed Kakashi the night before, but those kisses had been light and tentative. This kiss was warm and soft at first, but the heat of it soon overtook both of them. He felt Kakashi's tongue flick out and opened his mouth wider to allow it entrance, causing Kakashi to groan with pleasure. Iruka reached out an arm to pull Kakashi closer and felt himself being pushed back onto the grass. Kakashi's lean form stretched out over him and one knee moved gently up between Iruka's legs. He broke away from Iruka's mouth and moved to nibble on his neck and it was the teacher's turn to moan. Iruka's hands moved up and under Kakashi's vest, tugging his shirt out from his pants, so that he could touch the pale skin under it. At the contact, Kakashi shuddered with pleasure and lifted his head to stare into Iruka's eyes.

"How are you feeling now, Iruka-sama?" Kakashi asked breathlessly.

Iruka ran his hands lightly over the jounin's cheeks, memorizing the view before the mask covered it once more. "Happy," he decided, "…and horny." He grinned as Kakashi started laughing again.

Kakashi slowly peeled himself off the chuunin and helped the other man stand up. As Iruka got to his feet, Kakashi pulled him forward into a hug and said, "Good, then you'll think of me all day." He placed one last kiss on Iruka's lips and then pulled up his mask. "My place? Eight o'clock?"

Iruka nodded. "See you then. Have a good day, Kakashi."

"Have a good day, Iruka."

Iruka watched the silver hair as it disappeared into the forest. He turned back to monument. "Thank you for him, Obito-san. I am sorry you are no longer with him, but thank you for letting me be his friend." He bowed deeply to the silent stone and turned to begin his day.


	5. Where Do We Go From Here

At five minutes until eight that night, Kakashi was still trying to extract Gai from his living room. His sometime rival was determined that now was the time for another competition and he wouldn't listen to any of Kakashi's excuses.

"But when the time for battle comes, you must be prepared," Gai protested, "and that time could come at any moment. The future of Konoha depends on you!"

"I said not tonight!" Kakashi growled as he tried to herd Gai closer to the door.

"Why not? No time like the present! Seize the day!" A knock on the door interrupted Gai in the middle of spouting clichés. Without even asking for permission from the owner of the door, Gai swung it open to reveal a rather startled looking Iruka.

"Ah, Iruka-sensei! Are you here to participate in a challenge with myself and the honorable Kakashi-sensei?" Gai boomed.

Iruka stared at the jounin and then glanced at Kakashi, who looked desperate. Smiling reassuringly, Iruka turned back to Gai.

"I'm sorry, Gai-sensei, but Kakashi and I have already begun," he paused before continuing delicately, "a 'challenge' and I wouldn't feel right 'challenging' you also." The grin on his face was so innocent and pure and completely at odds with the mischievous light in his eyes that Kakashi had to choke down a laugh.

Moved to the point of tears and oblivious to Iruka's double entendre, Gai placed a hand on Iruka's shoulder. "Of course, of course, I completely understand. Please forgive me for interrupting your challenge with my inept bumbling. I will go now and strive to think of new challenges for the future!" He paused hopefully in the doorway. "Unless I could stay and watch your noble battle?"

By this time, Kakashi thought his ribs were going to split with the effort of holding in his laughter.

Iruka smiled serenely. "I'm sorry, but it is a private challenge in order to preserve honor. You understand, yes?"

Gai nodded through his tears. "Brave men of Konoha, I salute your efforts. Strive toward your goal without ever looking back! Press onward without fear!" Iruka slowly, but firmly, closed the door on his retreating form and they could still hear him pontificating as he disappeared down the block.

Finally able to give into their laughter, the two men collapsed against the wall. When their hilarity died down, Kakashi removed his mask to wipe the tears streaming from his eyes. "Thank you for getting rid of him. He'd been here since 7:30 and I couldn't get him to leave. I'd given him every excuse I could think of!"

Iruka smiled at him and said, "I brought something that will make you feel better."

Kakashi frowned. "You didn't have to bring anything."

Holding up a bottle, Iruka said, "Even sake?"

"Ah, well, that is different. You are obviously planning to get me drunk and take advantage of me. I see your plan now." Kakashi laughed as the expected blush flooded Iruka's cheeks. "Well, come on, the least I can do is feed you first so you'll have the strength to battle bravely for the honor of Konoha!" He walked back toward the kitchen with Iruka's laughter following him.

---

Dinner was quiet, but companionable. They talked a little about nothing in particular, then ate in silence, then talked some more. As they finished cleaning up in the small kitchen, Kakashi, who was washing, couldn't resist splashing Iruka, who was drying. A small scuffle broke out, only ending when Iruka leaned forward to try to grab the towel back from Kakashi, but instead found himself pinned against the sink, Kakashi's lips moving over his, kissing deeply and desperately. Tongues wrangled for position inside warm mouths, hands tangled in brown hair and silver hair, until, finally, gasping for breath, Iruka pulled back. He brought his hands up to caress Kakashi's cheeks.

"Who are you, Hatake Kakashi? What do you want of me?" He stared seriously into the mismatched eyes.

After a long silence, Kakashi said slowly, "I don't know," but he wasn't sure which question he was answering. Iruka nodded, as if that had answered something other than what he'd asked, and pushed away from the sink. He poured more sake for both of them and wandered around the room. Kakashi followed, feeling confused and adrift.

Iruka stopped before a picture of Kakashi with his teammates. He stared at the young ninjas, so eager and sure of themselves. "You know," he finally said after a long silence, "I would have protested your inclusion in the chuunin trials, had I been your teacher."

Kakashi said nothing, his throat tight.

"I think Konoha has asked much of you, maybe too much, and I wonder what you were like before we did that to you."

A harsh bark of a laugh broke from Kakashi. "Not all of my problems can be laid at the feet of Konoha."

Iruka turned to him, rich chocolate-brown eyes heavy with emotion. "No, I guess not." He turned back to the picture. "Neither of us has much experience with a normal family life, do we?"

"Is that what you want? A family?"

Iruka nodded. "Yes. It's what I've always wanted, but never quite managed to achieve."

"But what about Naruto?"

Iruka's face was sad as he turned to look at Kakashi once more. "I think I could have had a family with Naruto, if I'd noticed him sooner, if I'd realized how he was suffering, if I hadn't screwed everything up by misjudging him the way everyone misjudged me." He ran his hand tiredly over his face and sat down on the sofa.

Kakashi sat carefully down next to him. He didn't understand what was going on, but he sensed that he needed to walk through this conversation carefully. "I don't think you screwed things up and even if it seems that way, you fixed it in the end. Naruto admires you; he loves you."

"I know that and I love him, but we waited too late to begin building a deeper connection. We'll never be family, not the way I want…the way I need. And now, more than ever, Konoha will need him to be a ninja and he'll leave more and more until he's gone more than he is here."

Understanding began to creep into Kakashi's brain. "You want…to fall in love," he speculated quietly.

Iruka looked deep into Kakashi's eyes. "I do. I mean, not with Naruto, but with someone. I thought, once, that I had, but then things…went wrong."

He looked so serious, so sad, that Kakashi ached to touch him, to sooth the pain, but he knew that until this matter was settled between them any touch would be taken as a promise and he didn't want to promise what he couldn't fulfill. "What do you want from me?" he asked gently, knowing the words sounded harsh, but not able to think of another way to phrase them.

"I want you to know that I like you and that I'm afraid this friendship will be ruined if we try to force it into something else, but that I'm also afraid that I'll miss out on the possibility of something beautiful if I try to keep things from moving forward. I want you to know…" Iruka's voice faltered as he blushed, "I want you to know that my body yearns for you in a way I haven't felt in a very long time and it scares me and it thrills me and when you kiss me my mind goes blank and I can't think about anything other than how to get you to do it again." He jumped up from the sofa abruptly and turned his back on Kakashi. "I want to know if I'm asking for something you can't give me or don't want to give me and I want to know why you didn't just tell Gai that you had a date!" His voice rose, full of hurt and confusion.

Kakashi sighed, but didn't stand up, afraid he would lose Iruka completely if he moved. "Because I was scared," he admitted. When the other man turned in surprise to look at him, he nodded in confirmation. "I was scared to jinx this. I don't know where this is going and I haven't the faintest idea of how to keep from screwing it up completely."

Iruka sank back down on the sofa. "Neither do I."

They sat in silence for a long moment. Kakashi reached over and intertwined his fingers with Iruka's, his thumb rubbing softly along the soft skin of Iruka's hand. He leaned over to rest his head on Iruka's shoulder and felt Iruka's cheek brush against his hair.

"Maybe," Kakashi began hesitantly, "maybe we're having trouble because, well, because we're used to being able to think our way through a problem or fight our way through a problem and neither of those options will work here. Maybe we just have to…to let this, this feeling wash over us like…like chakra, but we can't try to control it or manipulate it or…whatever…" His voice trailed off, uncertain he'd said the right thing or said it in the right way.

Iruka was silent for so long that Kakashi began to think he really had screwed it all up. He sat up, ready to try to repair the damage, only to have the words freeze in his throat when Iruka turned to him, grabbed his face in both hands, and kissed him, long and hard. When they finally came up for air, Iruka smiled at him, a brilliant, radiant smile which made Kakashi feel like he was basking in the sun after a long winter.

"You're right. You're absolutely right."

Kakashi was surprised to feel himself blushing. "Well, I am a genius."

Iruka laughed and kissed him again. Leaning down to pick up his sake, he raised it and said, "To friendship…in whatever form it might take."

Kakashi smiled. "To friendship." But instead of touching his cup to Iruka's, he leaned and stole a kiss. "In whatever form."


	6. Visiting Hours

Looking back later, Kakashi could see bright points in the darkness of the invasion. One beautiful night he took Iruka to a favorite spot of his, a hammock hung in the forest, between two trees in a small clearing. They spent the night awake, looking at the stars, talking of their dreams. Gradually talk faded in favor of touch. As their clothes melted away like snow, they memorized the feel of each other's bodies, learned the many scars they each carried, and ingrained the smell of the other deep into their senses.

They didn't make love that night, but Kakashi could clearly remember the night they did for the first time. He had joined Iruka for a casual dinner of ramen and then followed him back home, where Kakashi teased and bugged Iruka until the teacher put down the papers he was trying to grade and tried to kiss the copynin into good behavior. The plan backfired, though, as lust caught them both in its whirlwind. No papers were graded that night and neither of them got much sleep, but the next day Kakashi couldn't stop whistling and he was only an hour late for the meeting with his team, scaring them into uncharacteristically good behavior.

While under the influence of Itachi's Tsukuyomi, Kakashi tried to ignore the pain by focusing on his memories of his time with Iruka. He tried to remember, had they run through the forest the other night or over the rooftops? What did Iruka order when they went to the out of the way restaurant on the edge of town? If he focused hard enough, he could almost smell Iruka's clean scent, feel his fingers running through the chocolate brown strands of hair. The memories kept him sane enough to make it through the torture and when he finally gave into exhaustion and succumbed to the darkness, Iruka's face was the last thing that went through his mind.

---

For Iruka the memories were different, though no less treasured. He would find himself thinking of a dinner they had shared where they both told jokes and funny stories until they couldn't eat for laughing. Or the night they had run further than usual, going to a moonlit lake on the outskirts of the village. They had gone skinny-dipping in the cool water, playfully splashing each other and kissing, staying in the water until their hands were pruned like those of old men.

The night they first made love was a special memory, but Iruka also loved the time they spent an entire day in Kakashi's apartment, exploring all the many ways to give each other pleasure. They ordered food in and lounged naked on Kakashi's futon, playing multiple games of chess until the urge for sex overtook them again. That night they soaked in the bath together and fell asleep with their hair still damp, brown strands and silver tangling together on the bed.

While he was at work, Iruka was usually too busy to worry about Kakashi. The students needed him to be there for them. But when a stabbing pain shot through his head and the chalk dropped from suddenly nerveless fingers, Iruka knew that something had happened to Kakashi. Shaking off the feeling, he finished his lesson, bid the children goodbye, and barely made it to the staff bathroom before losing his lunch in a wave of nausea.

---

Kurenai decided to check on Kakashi one more time before she left the hospital. There was nothing she could do for him, but it didn't feel right, just leaving him there, unconscious.

As she approached the door to his room, she saw that it was slightly ajar. Looking in, she noticed a figure standing on the other side of the bed, obviously having just entered from the window. Her fingers twitched toward her kunai, in case it was an enemy looking to make short work of a helpless ninja.

The figure leaned forward slightly and the light glinted off a Leaf village hitai-ate. Kurenai relaxed a little, but still wondered what the person was doing there. Was it a friend of Kakashi's? If so, why didn't they come by during normal visiting hours?

A hand reached up and pulled down Kakashi's mask. Kurenai gasped in anger. _Those bastards! _She knew a number of nins in Konoha were eager to get a look at Kakashi's face, in fact had wagered quite a large sum of money on whether or not they would be able to do so (Kakashi had told her that he had good odds that they would never succeed), but she never thought they would stoop so low as to sneak up on him when he was in a coma. However, just as she was about to enter the room to stop the person from taking advantage of Kakashi, the stranger did something wholly unexpected—they leaned forward and kissed the copynin on the lips.

Kurenai froze in amazement. The idea of Kakashi having a lover wasn't stunning, per se, but if she had been asked about the type of person Kakashi might pair up with, she was sure she would have said female, at least. But when the stranger in Kakashi's room had leaned forward, Kurenai had caught a glimpse of dark brown hair pulled up in a ponytail, framing a face with a familiar slash across the nose. It could only be Umino Iruka. She couldn't have moved if she had wanted to. She just watched as Iruka pulled back and ran his hands tenderly over Kakashi's hair, brushing it off his forehead.

How long had they been together? She tried to remember if she'd seen them out together and realized that she could recall them having dinner together more often. She had even mentioned it to Asuma, but the two of them had assumed that the two men were dealing with another Naruto issue. Never would she have guessed that it was something more.

As she stood watching through the crack in the door, Kurenai saw Iruka climb onto the bed and stretch himself out along Kakashi's side. She looked hard at his face, but couldn't see tears. He seemed sad, but determined. He rested his head on Kakashi's shoulder and wrapped his arm around the unconscious man's waist. Closing his eyes, he squeezed gently and whispered something Kurenai couldn't hear.

Shaking herself out of her daze, she slowly, quietly closed the door. Some things were meant to be private. She would ask the nurse not to disturb Kakashi during the night. Iruka would probably be better medicine for him than anything the medical nins could offer. Smiling, she headed for home and Asuma.


	7. Revelations

The new Hokage had declared a holiday in celebration of assuming her title. Konoha's people needed a reason to relax, to rest, to reconnect with each other. So there was going to be a festival, with dancing and good food and fireworks late into the night. Iruka was thrilled. Kakashi was well again and he was happy. The students at the Academy were giving special demonstrations and performances and he had been busy for weeks getting them ready. Two nights before the festival he bustled around the house, gathering up papers with high marks to display on the classroom walls.

"Class Three is going to show off their kunai throwing. After that, Class One is performing a selection of songs. They're so excited about singing in front of everyone. I just hope they can remember the words." He grinned over at the sofa, where Kakashi sat reading.

"What do you think we should pack in our picnic basket? Anything special you're in the mood for?"

Kakashi looked up at him, confused. "Picnic basket?"

Iruka rolled his eyes. "Dinner? On the blanket? While we watch fireworks? Any of that ringing a bell?" He grinned at the silver haired ninja and winked roguishly. "So, handsome, are you going to save me a dance?"

Kakashi stared at him blankly for a moment. "Do you think that's a good idea? Sharing a basket? Dancing together?"

"What do you mean?" Iruka frowned at him, confused.

"It's just that stuff like that, if we do it together, people are going to, you know, think stuff. About us." Kakashi fumbled for an explanation.

"And that would be bad." Iruka's voice was suddenly very flat.

"Well…I mean…I don't want people to get the wrong idea…to talk about…" Kakashi's voice trailed off at the look on Iruka's face.

"And what 'wrong idea' would that be? That we're a couple? Because I'm pretty sure that spending all of our free time together, enjoying each other's company, and, oh yeah, sleeping together means that we _are_ a couple! Unless you have a different interpretation of 'couple' than I do."

Kakashi flinched back from the sarcasm and hurt in Iruka's voice. "You don't understand, Iruka. People like you. They're going to accept you no matter what you do. I don't have that luxury."

"I don't understand? _I_ don't understand? Kakashi, I'm a teacher. This village isn't that large. What do you think it's like for me? Everyday, no matter what I'm doing or where I go, I run into someone who knows me. They watch _everything_ I do, whether they mean to or not, because they worry about the person who spends so much time with their children. Why do you think I don't drink more than two cups of sake at restaurants? Why do you think I always make sure this blasted uniform is neat and orderly and my house is clean? Because I know that everyday, everywhere I go I'm being judged, evaluated, observed. I don't have the luxury of walking around the village openly reading porn." He deflated slightly. "And I understand their concern. I really do. Their children are precious to them; they have a right to worry about them. But sometimes I just want to go where no one knows me, where I don't have to feel like I'm on stage all the time."

Iruka sighed deeply. "The way I see it, you are ashamed of me. Either you are ashamed because I'm a man or you're ashamed because I'm a chuunin or you're ashamed because I'm me—mousy and boring." Kakashi tried to interrupt with a protest and Iruka cut him off with a glance. "But don't tell me I don't understand what's at risk here. If we go public with our relationship, I know parents will object and if enough people protest, then I will very probably lose my job. The Hokage would have no choice but to let me go."

He stared hard at Kakashi for a moment. "I love my job, but I'm willing to give it up if I have to, because, dammit, I have a right to be with the man I love."

Kakashi's eyes widened, his shangrin whirling. "You…love me?"

Iruka raked his fingers through his hair, ripping out the band holding it back and flinging it on the table in frustration. "Gods, Kakashi, yes, I'm in love with you. But right now, I really don't like you." He glared hard at his lover. "I am not going to let myself get hurt just because you're scared of what people might think. So you need to think about whether or not you can handle this relationship and if you can't, then tell me sooner rather than later." He slumped forward, leaning hard on the table. "Go, just go home, Kakaski. I'm tired and I still have twenty essays to grade tonight. Some of us can't show up three hours late to every class."

Kakashi stared hard at Iruka's bent back for a long while, wanting to say something, but unable to find the words. Finally he turned and left, closing the door behind himself with a soft, final sounding click.

---

The evening of the festival was clear and beautiful. The Academy grounds teamed with excited children and proud parents. The classes performed and showed their talents. Then everyone broke into family groups to lay out their blankets and prepare for dinner.

"Mind if we join you?" Iruka looked up at the deep voice and saw Asuma standing with Kurenai. He smiled. "Of course! I think I brought too much food. Hope you two are hungry."

Kurenai looked up from spreading out a large blanket. "Are you by yourself? I thought you might be coming with…someone."

Iruka smiled sadly. "Nope, just me. Naruto had already made plans with Sasuke and Sakura." He looked down at his picnic basket and missed the look she shared with Asuma.

"But you weren't expecting anyone else?" Kurenai prodded.

"I thought I was, but I guess I was wrong." Again the wistful smile flitted across his face.

Dinner was relaxed. The three teachers shared stories of their students, laughing over particularly funny moments, commiserating over the frustrating ones. Gradually everyone around them started talking more and eating less. Musicians began setting up on a small stage in front of the dance floor.

The first couples were just moving onto the dance floor when Iruka felt someone standing near him. He looked up and was surprised to see a shock of white hair. Stumbling to his feet, he stared at Kakashi, uncertain what to say.

"I'm an idiot." Kakashi began without preamble. "An idiot. You were right, everything you said. We shouldn't have to hide. We shouldn't have to choose." He reached out and took Iruka's hands in his own. "I love you. All of you. I love that you care more about your students than you do about yourself. I love that you don't put up with crap from me. I love the way you smell and the touch of your hair and the feel of your body next to mine when we wake up in the morning." His voice trailed off briefly and he swallowed hard. "And I'm sorry that I hurt you." He opened his mouth to continue, but Iruka stopped him.

"Hush, love, it's okay. I forgive you." Iruka smiled gently at him.

Kakashi pulled Iruka toward him and hugged him tightly. "Iruka-sama. I don't deserve you," he whispered."You are too good for me."

A light touch on his shoulder caused him to glance up. Kurenai was standing next to him.

"Kakashi," she said seriously, "none of us are ever worthy of those who choose to offer us their love." She looked over at Asuma for a moment before turning back to Kakashi. "All we can do is to try not to waste the gift they give." Kakashi nodded, grateful and surprised.

Asuma grunted, tossed aside his cigarette, and stood up. He walked over to the trio and took the hand Kurenai was resting on Kakashi's shoulder. "Come on, beautiful, I'm in the mood to dance." As they walked off together, Asuma thumped Kakashi on the back in a reassuring manner. "You'll get the hang of it, don't worry," he called over his shoulder.

The two men stood wrapped in each other's embrace, oblivious to the world around them, until a soft cough startled them. Glancing up, they realized that the Hokage was standing very close to them, watching them with a sharp, knowing look. They broke apart quickly. Tsunade noticed that Iruka stepped slightly in front of Kakashi, as if to protect him, though it didn't seem to her like either of them realized that he had done it.

"So," she began, "how long?"

They glanced at each other. "Um, since the night of the last Hokage's funeral…" Iruka said, tentatively. "But, our friendship started earlier than that." Kakashi corrected him. They both looked back at her nervously.

She stared at them, allowing the tension to build. "A while, then." They nodded. She considered them again for another long moment, then reached out and took hold of Kakashi's right hand and Iruka's left hand. Bringing them together in front of her, she covered their hands with her own.

"You are fine ninjas—loyal and good. Konoha owes you two a debt she can never begin to repay. Consider this a start. If any of the villagers has an issue with your relationship, I will deal with them myself. You are good men. Be happy together for as long as you will." She squeezed their hands between hers, smiled at them, and walked over to chat with a group of ninjas standing a little ways away.

Nonplussed, Iruka blinked, trying to get his mind around what had just happened. He glanced at Kakashi and was startled to find that the other man was laughing. The giggles were contagious and Iruka soon found that he couldn't help but join in. After a good laugh, they wiped their streaming eyes and looked fondly at each other.

"Well, now what?" Iruka asked.

Kakashi leaned over and placed a cloth-covered kiss on Iruka's cheek. "I think I'd like to dance with the man I love, if that's alright with you."

Iruka smiled at him, blushing slightly. "I believe that could be arranged. But on one condition—I get to lead."

"You get to lead? I don't think so! I'll have you know that I am a superb dancer, so I should be the lead."

"Superb dancer? Whatever! Having two left feet would be an improvement for you!"

"Two left feet? You look like an elephant trying to do ballet!"

Bickering happily and swatting playfully at each other, they drifted into the swirl of dancers and were swept away.

THE END


End file.
